Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Because POSSIBILITIES are endless …

Fifth day of year 2010 and hopes from the still New Year are immense. I don’t make New Year resolutions because I don’t want to look too far ahead. Each day, each moment is filled with so much possibility that it seems futile to forego the present to dream or plan a tomorrow that eventually might not come.
Lately I find myself say this sentence a lot, ‘I was just thinking about you’. Not just people, but to books and songs and pictures and emails. I don’t know if my thoughts are attracting events of if I am anticipating things before they happen but I am enjoying it anyways.
Sometime in November I was in an all day work meeting and since the table was equipped with colored pens and pencils, I doodled on my agenda sheet to my heart’s content. Last week, as I was flipping through my folder while sitting at another meeting, I found a string of colorful triangle flags drawn with the word ‘Tibet’ written next to it. I was so excited to find it cause I think it was a few days after I drew that, that I started reading the book ‘Heaven Lake’ by Vikram Seth. It’s a travelogue of sorts of his travel as a student from China to India via Tibet and Nepal. I was totally engrossed in the book and in fact I had cut down my running speed to walking so that I can read it while on the treadmill since there wasn’t enough time otherwise. It might not mean anything, may not have any correlation, but it’s hard to convince me otherwise, I am a Believer. I consider it love, love from the universe….

The other day I was up at 3:00 am and randomly some images crossed my mind from when I was barely a teenager and my first crush and how angry I was at god when his Dad was posted to some other city and he moved. I look back and think, silly me, I was a child… And there have been several moments in life like that, where I cried and prayed desperately and wished for things and people and I still do but in the big picture I don’t yet know where I am supposed to fit.

Somebody is fitting the pieces together and turns, rotates, flips and squishes each individual piece to see what fits where and in the end it will all work out. No piece is useless, each have a space to fill and it the end all of us together with our talents and quirks will complete the picture. So, in the long series of words all I meant to say was that I don’t want to plan the future, here and now is beautiful and I want to explore the possibilities of today, of this moment whatever it may be, it may make me sad or happy but it still contains multitude of possibilities and I want to focus on that.

I guess, now it’s pretty obvious but I should still write it out, my word for the year 2010 is ‘Possibilities’…

1 comment:

  1. Hi Shalini...happy new year. Not sure how to link to your fb account but please do add me...name is Yasmin Kirefu...only 1 of me!!! haha