Monday, May 09, 2011

Thankful for you, my body

Sometimes you are too heavy, sometimes too curvy, and sometimes too slow. There have been times when you bleed a lot and other time you bleed at the wrong time. Your weight and fat percentage is totally off balance and the dimpled thighs are ugly. Sometimes you are so needy; you need sleep when my mind wants to go on and when I push you, through you I feel aches and pains.

I can go on about all those things are not perfect with you but at the same time I am thankful for you because despite my constant criticism, you have provided me a beautiful home and let me experience pain and pleasure. It is through you that I express myself and feel my existence; you have given me a definition. You are so adjusting, you expand to accommodate my indulgences and you toughen up to meet my desire to go faster. You let me hold and nurture my babies for nine months and you let me squeeze them now to spill off my love that cannot be contained in my heart. When I abuse you, you let me know but then heal yourself. You run around like a headless chicken trying to keep up with my fervent mind and then when you can’t any more, all you ask for is a little rest and don’t quit on me.

I know that I can fill reams of virtual paper to tell you how important you are to me and how I would just have been an anonymous soul without you here to contain me and define me. But yesterday as I crossed the finish line at this season’s first 5K (Race for Cure at MOA on Mothers’ Day), I was filled with special gratitude because you carried me through when my mind told you to take it slow as it thought that if it push you any longer, your lungs would burst, you continued on. You weren’t fully prepared for it and you happen to be getting over a fight with cold from last week and happen to be bleeding (of course, at the wrong time. Okay, I am sorry I shouldn’t say this cause if you stop bleeding, I’ll go into a panic attack) yet when my brain was slowing you down, your hand plugged it with some music and distracted it and you kept going on. Thank you.

You have perfectly functioning ears and through the mouth that is actually a part of you, I’ll tell everyone that ‘my’ timing was bad and I didn’t do as well as last year or as well as I’d like to imagine myself doing but please don’t take it personally, I know you won’t but just to clarify. And about that rolls of indulgences that would show on my midriff when I am on stage in couple of weeks, it’s not your fault but we’ll work on it together. I know you don’t care about appearances; you are just very honest about who I am but I don’t want to display the uncontrolled side of mind and accept that I am not perfect or do indeed have weaknesses so you’ll have to once again take this journey with me as through you I’ll display a perfection that only exist in my mind.

Thank you for containing me, in every sense of the word…

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