Writing a book review after a long time.
This book -' I'm Fine and Neither Are You' was part
of our book club read last month.
I think if the title was any clue to what lies ahead in the
chapters, you can practically predict that its written for most of us, who
carry on day to day saying ‘I’m fine’ without ever meaning to say it but in
most cases just the opposite. I could relate to the book on so many levels and
not just to one character but there were situations where I could see myself
playing several roles.
To summarize the book. It’s a story about a woman readying
herself to face the realities of her life and coming up with the realization
that she can’t do it all, let alone do it all on her own and make it look
effortless.
Sounds familiar? Yeah, me too.
She was jolted into looking deeper into her life after the
sudden demise of her best friend who seemed to have had everything together in
her life specially as she laid it out on her picture-perfect blog. The dead best
friend as you might have guessed had created a curated version of her life on
social media that others assumed was the whole reality including the main
character of the book.
The main character, a wife, a mother, a full-time employee
had a husband that didn’t work outside the house and didn’t do much to help in
the house either. And she never questioned his behavior or asked him to step up to
the needs of the family. Similarly, she had a high demanding job but never
stood up for her rights at work or to bring to attention of her superiors the
amount of effort she’s putting into her work. And guess what, the job wasn’t
her first choice she was just sticking to it since she was the sole bread
winner.
You might question her behavior and think that’s unusual but
of course there’s back story and she was carrying her own baggage and fighting
her own insecurities.
You might think, oh! I now know the summary of the book and
don’t need to read it, but I think it’s not the story-line, it’s the way
situations make you think about your own action or reaction to the
circumstances. The book can make you cry and laugh at the same time. You can
imagine being on the toilet seat, in front of the dirty sink, behind the desk
on a boring task, frustrated by the lack of opportunities right alongside the
characters of the book, you’d mourn the loss of dreams that never took flight and
you’d hope for a happy ending on a porch swing watching a sunset, all within
the confines of these words.
Apart from the main character’s struggles, the facade that
her best friend lived with was also poignant. Not only did she portray a perfect
life on the blog for her readers but even her close friends believed that the
life she’s sharing publicly is the only life she’s got. It makes me ponder over
the facades that we live with in our own lives. Not just the curated posts for
the social media but also story that we share with others in real life. No one
can know everything about your life, they’d know only what you share and in
turn your partial story becomes who you are and many folks in your life might
believe that it’s the whole of you.
So, after all these details it probably won’t come as a surprise,
but I’d really recommend this book. The story-line might seem a little cliched,
but the writing style is inspiring and the characters relate-able. I think we can
all drop a few facades and hope that we’ll be accepted for who we are rather
than what others expect us to be.
As for me I just hope to find it in me to say, “I’m Not Fine”
the next time I find myself struggling rather than putting up a brave face,
saying “I’m fine”, and continue with a disgruntled attitude.
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