Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Unexpected bump in the road...

Despite my intentions otherwise I ended up taking a long break from blogging… things, life in general is riding on a bit of a roller coaster for us.
DH was working on a project in California for most of winter months and it was hard living apart for both of us and specially the kids, so when his contract extended I decided to take an extended leave of absence from my work and join him in the Golden state.

It was a huge decision and much harder to execute than I had originally thought and hence the unexpected bump. Have you seen the recent kids/ animation movie, 'inside out'? Well that's us right now, living in a temporary accommodation with minimal luggage and emotions flying all over the place. And its not just one girl but all three of us, we are taking turns as we break down with our emotions.

But drama aside it is a wonderful time to take that inward journey and discover more about yourself and what life truly means…
Here's a few things I have learned in the meanwhile:

1) Change is hard even if it was your own choice that caused the change.

2) It is going to be harder and more expensive than what you had planned for.

3) It is hard to plan all the details specially when things are often influenced by other peoples' decisions.

4) Plan the details but leave a lot of flexibility and please don't be married to your plans (something I need to learn big time).

5) Keep your faith that it will work out and it eventually will.

6) Dream constantly without any conditions, if one shatters dream another dream… dreams are often just intentions, they motivate and prompt us to action but they are never meant to be the final plan.

7) Keep your friends posted about your change, specially those who are not affected by the change. They'll provide you with that big picture perspective which will be annoying at times because they don't know a shit (pardon my language) about your mess but at the same time bring a normalcy to your psyche. Just remember to not let these times redefine your relationship.

8) Get fresh air, be it walking, biking, running, strolling with the dog, watching the kids play in the park… just get up and get 10 minutes of fresh air.

9) Pick a time far in the distance and plan something for it… book a vacation, schedule a delivery for a new dress, a massage, a new paint color in your room, anything that can keep your focus and act as a distraction when the present overwhelms you.
Most of the time I talk about being in the moment but in the past few months I have realized that things happen at their own pace and the wait can often be excruciating so a escape in the future can be the force which will prevent you from falling apart.

1 comment:

  1. Goodness, what a huge change for all of you! But I definitely understand the difficulties of trying to maintain a long distance relationship!